Is a promise a promise? Half an year ago, I think it definitely was. And it was the main goal for me to keep going to make our life better. However, it will no longer be. What's more, people nowadays keep telling and showing us that a promise is just a LIE.
Watching the news on TV about the divorce of a couple because of the physical handicap of the wife, I was really astounded. The husband applied for the divorce because he wants to marry another woman with healthy legs. How cruel the man is! How forgettable the man is! Just as the words I've said a few days ago, how could the man forget his promise made on the day when he married the woman many years ago? For him, a promise isn't a promise anymore? A promise is just a joke.
I used to believe the promise someone gave me, and I used to keep the promise and believe in the promise which will be fulfilled someday. However, after the trauma, I don't think I will be lucky enough to accept and believe any promise. For me, a promise is just nonsense!
20:55 October 3, 2007
2007年10月29日 星期一
Visiting the library in NCTU
This afternoon, a friend of my colleagues gave me a tour to the library in NCTU.
It was a huge building. Outside the building, there are some art works. Inside the lobby, there is a piano. These two reminded me of some memories in the past, which I tried to let them go. The friend of my colleagues kindly and friendly showed me around floor by floor. Then, he took me to see a very special design inside the building, the atrium. Though having visited this library a long time ago, I didn't remember such work in Chinese style. After the tour in the library, we took a walk around the campus. It has been a long time that I haven't stepped into it. Everything is familiar, but the company is different. What an odd feeling!
18:34 September 9, 2007
It was a huge building. Outside the building, there are some art works. Inside the lobby, there is a piano. These two reminded me of some memories in the past, which I tried to let them go. The friend of my colleagues kindly and friendly showed me around floor by floor. Then, he took me to see a very special design inside the building, the atrium. Though having visited this library a long time ago, I didn't remember such work in Chinese style. After the tour in the library, we took a walk around the campus. It has been a long time that I haven't stepped into it. Everything is familiar, but the company is different. What an odd feeling!
18:34 September 9, 2007
Visiting Taipei 101
It was the third time for me to visit Taipei 101. Each time I got different feelings....
During the visit for the first time, someone took me there while we were still in love. We took some pictures there. In the pictures, I smiled happily and broadly, though I was fat. Then, we took a walk around the whole building, admiring the expensive products inside each window. Though we were not wealthy enough to buy anything from those stores, we were happy because we had each other. I guessed that was the feeling of contentment.
One year later, during the second visit, the same person took me there after we broke up. Before we got to the skyscraper, tears couldn't stop dropping. Pictures of happy memories flashed through my mind. The one who took me there was like a stranger standing beside me. "Why do you act like this?" "Do you know you are ruining the trip?" he shouted angrily. "Didn't these places remind you of any happy moment?" I wanted to ask, but I didn't. The stranger wouldn't give me his inner thoughts, I thought.
Today, since we were in Taipei and both Tako and my mom were busy, my father proudly told me that he wanted to take me to one of his accomplishment in his work, Taipei 101. When we got there, those pictures still flashed into my mind. But I tried not to think of those memories, and try to hold my tears. My father proudly told me that his name was carved on the monument beside the skyscraper. Like a child, I happily ran around the monument one after another, looking for his name. Later, we had a happy meal down in the basement. Then, we took a walk around the department stores and took the MRT back to the train station.
After I came back to Hsinchu, I told myself, "Alice, you've overcome the obstacle. You're brave enough to visit the place that once made you sad. You shall look forward to your unknown future, not back to your past." Though I still cried when typing this story, I'm still glad that I am gradually healing my pain.
17:23 September8, 2007
During the visit for the first time, someone took me there while we were still in love. We took some pictures there. In the pictures, I smiled happily and broadly, though I was fat. Then, we took a walk around the whole building, admiring the expensive products inside each window. Though we were not wealthy enough to buy anything from those stores, we were happy because we had each other. I guessed that was the feeling of contentment.
One year later, during the second visit, the same person took me there after we broke up. Before we got to the skyscraper, tears couldn't stop dropping. Pictures of happy memories flashed through my mind. The one who took me there was like a stranger standing beside me. "Why do you act like this?" "Do you know you are ruining the trip?" he shouted angrily. "Didn't these places remind you of any happy moment?" I wanted to ask, but I didn't. The stranger wouldn't give me his inner thoughts, I thought.
Today, since we were in Taipei and both Tako and my mom were busy, my father proudly told me that he wanted to take me to one of his accomplishment in his work, Taipei 101. When we got there, those pictures still flashed into my mind. But I tried not to think of those memories, and try to hold my tears. My father proudly told me that his name was carved on the monument beside the skyscraper. Like a child, I happily ran around the monument one after another, looking for his name. Later, we had a happy meal down in the basement. Then, we took a walk around the department stores and took the MRT back to the train station.
After I came back to Hsinchu, I told myself, "Alice, you've overcome the obstacle. You're brave enough to visit the place that once made you sad. You shall look forward to your unknown future, not back to your past." Though I still cried when typing this story, I'm still glad that I am gradually healing my pain.
17:23 September8, 2007
Visiting Tako's New House
This evening, my parents and I met at Tako's new place in Taipei.
The apartment is small but cozy. He and his fiancee have been busy during the whole month purchasing all kinds of furniture as well as some appliances. Tonight, my parents and I will stay here and enjoy the atmosphere of this new place.
Before we go to bed, Tako, my parents and I talked a lot about our work, living condition, and future. It has been a long time that we haven't shared our feeling together. From our conversation, I realized that I am a blessed girl. I have a stable job. Though I need to go to work early, I can enjoy a lot more time than most people after work. Usually I get home around 5 or 6, which is a desirable time for most working people. I can get home earlier to make dinner or do something else. As for Tako and his fiancee, whose office is far away from him, they always get out of their office at around 7, which is too late for them to have dinner together, let alone the time to make dinner for each other. Thus, I should be content with my life here.
Well, yes, I thought to myself, I am really content with my job and my life, though I am alone in Hsinchu. I enjoy the independent life with the most freedom. While I was thinking of my life, my eyes were wandering around this new place. "Some day, I will buy myself a house, a home with happiness and contentment, even just me alone inside it."
23:58 September 7, 2007
The apartment is small but cozy. He and his fiancee have been busy during the whole month purchasing all kinds of furniture as well as some appliances. Tonight, my parents and I will stay here and enjoy the atmosphere of this new place.
Before we go to bed, Tako, my parents and I talked a lot about our work, living condition, and future. It has been a long time that we haven't shared our feeling together. From our conversation, I realized that I am a blessed girl. I have a stable job. Though I need to go to work early, I can enjoy a lot more time than most people after work. Usually I get home around 5 or 6, which is a desirable time for most working people. I can get home earlier to make dinner or do something else. As for Tako and his fiancee, whose office is far away from him, they always get out of their office at around 7, which is too late for them to have dinner together, let alone the time to make dinner for each other. Thus, I should be content with my life here.
Well, yes, I thought to myself, I am really content with my job and my life, though I am alone in Hsinchu. I enjoy the independent life with the most freedom. While I was thinking of my life, my eyes were wandering around this new place. "Some day, I will buy myself a house, a home with happiness and contentment, even just me alone inside it."
23:58 September 7, 2007
A Blessing Dream from my student?
This morning, one of my cute students, Kelly, who is fond of sleeping, came to my office and told me, "Alice, I dreamed about you yesterday during the class."
"Wow, what did you dream about me?" I asked curiously.
"In my dream, we followed you to your home near school. You were tricky enough to meander around the school, but we were clever enough to track you to your house."
"Wow, so, tell me, my clever student, where I lived?"
"You walked into a very luxurious mansion."
"Wow, really? Thanks for the blessing. I'll try my best to fulfill this dream."
What a cute student! Really hope that day will come!
16:35 September 7, 2007
"Wow, what did you dream about me?" I asked curiously.
"In my dream, we followed you to your home near school. You were tricky enough to meander around the school, but we were clever enough to track you to your house."
"Wow, so, tell me, my clever student, where I lived?"
"You walked into a very luxurious mansion."
"Wow, really? Thanks for the blessing. I'll try my best to fulfill this dream."
What a cute student! Really hope that day will come!
16:35 September 7, 2007
Should I go back?
Last night I learnt that my favorite school in Kaohsiung are recruiting a new English teacher. Well, it used to be the school in which I was desperately eager to work. However, two years later, I don't know whether it is still my favorite.
Two years ago, I got the second position in the result of the recruitment test. But the school only needed one, so they accepted the one in the first position. I cried sadly then since I could have gotten closer to the place where someone lived if I had been able to get into that school. The place and the school are on the same street!
What made me sadder was that someone didn't know why I was so sad and cried so discouragingly. He even yelled at me that I spoiled his mood and that I made him even angrier. How melancholy I was to know the nature of someone whom I had been together for more than ten years. During that period of time I was terribly depressed to accept the truth that I wasn't able to get into that school, and to learn that someone was not mature enough to ease the mood and pain of the one he loved. Despite his immaturity in mind, I thought, I could wait for him till he got mature. However, I was completely wrong. It was all my fault that I made the decision to wait for the day of his maturity to come because, six months later, he said something cruel to me and hurt me deeply.
Till now the sad memory still haunts me around, especially when I go back to Kaohsiung. During this holiday, I didn't dare to stay in my room for too long since I couldn't help thinking about the time when I was desperately hurt and cried alone when no one else was at home.
"Should I go back?" I asked myself these days.
"I can save more money if I stay in Kaohsiung."
"But I will have to leave my students here, and I really like the students, the staffs, as well as the working environment here though I need to take care of myself. "
"If I go back to Kaohsiung, I might need to share the duty, such as cooking (most of time), farming, and others."
The most terrible thing is that, "if I go back to Kaohsiung, I don't know if I can stay in my room for a long time. I might start to think of the sad and depressing moment I had an year ago. "
"Where should I go?"
"Is Hsin-chu the right place for me to stay?"
I'm still wondering.
And....if the right person comes to me and asks me to stay now, maybe I'll stay.
"Where are you? My Mr. right?"
20:14 June 20, 2007
Two years ago, I got the second position in the result of the recruitment test. But the school only needed one, so they accepted the one in the first position. I cried sadly then since I could have gotten closer to the place where someone lived if I had been able to get into that school. The place and the school are on the same street!
What made me sadder was that someone didn't know why I was so sad and cried so discouragingly. He even yelled at me that I spoiled his mood and that I made him even angrier. How melancholy I was to know the nature of someone whom I had been together for more than ten years. During that period of time I was terribly depressed to accept the truth that I wasn't able to get into that school, and to learn that someone was not mature enough to ease the mood and pain of the one he loved. Despite his immaturity in mind, I thought, I could wait for him till he got mature. However, I was completely wrong. It was all my fault that I made the decision to wait for the day of his maturity to come because, six months later, he said something cruel to me and hurt me deeply.
Till now the sad memory still haunts me around, especially when I go back to Kaohsiung. During this holiday, I didn't dare to stay in my room for too long since I couldn't help thinking about the time when I was desperately hurt and cried alone when no one else was at home.
"Should I go back?" I asked myself these days.
"I can save more money if I stay in Kaohsiung."
"But I will have to leave my students here, and I really like the students, the staffs, as well as the working environment here though I need to take care of myself. "
"If I go back to Kaohsiung, I might need to share the duty, such as cooking (most of time), farming, and others."
The most terrible thing is that, "if I go back to Kaohsiung, I don't know if I can stay in my room for a long time. I might start to think of the sad and depressing moment I had an year ago. "
"Where should I go?"
"Is Hsin-chu the right place for me to stay?"
I'm still wondering.
And....if the right person comes to me and asks me to stay now, maybe I'll stay.
"Where are you? My Mr. right?"
20:14 June 20, 2007
Future sister-in-law?
During the holiday, all of my family members got together, including someone I've never met before....
She is Tako's girl friend, i.e., she might be my future sister-in-law. After asking my parents, I learnt that Tako and her met five months ago, and now, they just decided to get married before the end of this year.
After we stayed together for two days, my parents asked me about her. "Well, she is elegant, friendly, and mild. But I don't know much about her yet, such as whether she can cook or not, or whether she knows how to take care of Tako..etc." Thus, I still think it too fast for both of them to make such a great commitment, which needs to last for a long time.
But, I think to myself, " It's not proper for me to say this now since I have known someone for more than eleven years but the result hurt me severely." Thus, it's not the time that we need to spend knowing someone, but the people you meet at the right time. Right now I firmly believe in this, wondering if I have missed the right time in which I could meet the right person.
19:32 June 18, 2007
She is Tako's girl friend, i.e., she might be my future sister-in-law. After asking my parents, I learnt that Tako and her met five months ago, and now, they just decided to get married before the end of this year.
After we stayed together for two days, my parents asked me about her. "Well, she is elegant, friendly, and mild. But I don't know much about her yet, such as whether she can cook or not, or whether she knows how to take care of Tako..etc." Thus, I still think it too fast for both of them to make such a great commitment, which needs to last for a long time.
But, I think to myself, " It's not proper for me to say this now since I have known someone for more than eleven years but the result hurt me severely." Thus, it's not the time that we need to spend knowing someone, but the people you meet at the right time. Right now I firmly believe in this, wondering if I have missed the right time in which I could meet the right person.
19:32 June 18, 2007
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