The days without sunlight, water, and air...

What will it be when there is no sunlight, water and air? This kind of question first came to my mind when I was in college, but now I am haunted by the feeling again these days....

The days without sunlight will be full of darkness; the days without water will be dull; and the days without air will be lifeless. What is my sunlight? What is the water in my life? And what is the air? I think, one of them is my career; another is my soul; and the other is the love from people around. But which one will be my sunlight and others? I'm not sure yet.

Let me think about my career first. I love my career because I can fulfill my ambition and the dreams I have had since I was still a student. Performing my job gives me the sense of achievement. Without it, my life will be boring and dull. I wll have no goal in my life every day. So, that will be my water.

As for the soul, I need my soul to ponder over things of greater importance. I also need it to insist on the decisions I made. Without souls, I will no longer be able to think, nor will I be able to execute anything and make any accomplishment. Consequently, my life will be meaningless. Thus, it sounds like the air in my life.

Shall the last one, the love from people around, be the sunlight of my life? I don't know. But I do know without the support from my family members, I will be powerless in doing anything. I will have no place to go. When I'm disappointed, I will have no place to hide and heal my hurt feelings. Without my friends, loneliness will knock my door every day and night, even in my dreams during the midnight. Among these love, I started to feel something I have lost for days or years. I used to have that feeling when in college. Nevertheless, it comes back again. After so many years of self-growth and self-study, the answer still has not been found out yet. Love or not to love, it is still a question. Maybe it does take time to learn more about it, and grow from it. I'm still too young to realize the true meaning of it. Is it?


20:53 March 30, 2005.